Go Motivate Yourself stop chasing gurus and do the hard work is an inspiring book by Frank Ramos. You can download it free in pdf format with a direct link. Motivational speakers love to say that we should embrace failure. Edison did not invent the light bulb on the first try. Abraham Lincoln had his share of disappointments from him before he was elected president. And how are we supposed to learn, grow, and tackle big ideas without fail? Big ideas require big risks and are called risks because sometimes they have bad results. Don’t avoid failure, they would say. Give him his hand, sit with him, get to know him, and learn from him.
Of course, not being afraid of failure, believing in yourself and your talents, and taking calculated risks, is healthy and necessary in life. Success is generally preceded by failure in some shape or form. Some think the most important thing to do is embrace, not fear, failure. In doing so, one changes one’s paradigm from risk-averse to risk-taking. As Shakespeare wrote in Hamlet, “There is nothing good or bad, but the thought makes it so.” There are books dedicated simply to accepting and overcoming failure because these authors believe so strongly and deeply that failure to do so makes achieving one’s dreams virtually impossible. There is no doubt that not succumbing to failure is an integral part of success. But just knowing that others had done it didn’t mean that he could. And sometimes failure means it’s time to move on. Sometimes fear is the right answer. These were great stories of courage, strength, and endurance, but again they weren’t my stories.
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We have all heard stories of those with their backs to the wall. They were broke or addicted or lonely; they were anxious, depressed, even suicidal; they were at the end of their rope with no help, comfort, or escape in sight. Yet they reached deep within themselves, found hope, struggled forward, and came out the other end. And of course, if they did, you can too. I can certainly make the most of my day if others have been through so much more and not collapsed under the weight of it all. If you can focus and believe that the sun will rise again, then I can tackle anything that comes my way. If someone can survive cancer, the loss of a limb, the loss of a loved one, or even the Holocaust, then I can overcome any challenge that comes my way. I’m often left with the feeling “Wow, this person is amazing! How brave! Oh look, I got an email.”
I can share your story with family and friends. I can try to emulate your bravery. But in a few days, it’s another story cataloged in my mind, popping up every now and then but leaving little lasting impact. I don’t recall saying to myself, “That Olympic runner captured during WWII, the Unbroken guy, what’s his name? Oh yeah, Zamperini. If he can survive a prison camp and forgive his captors, I can do this “. I loved the movie and the book, but I’m not Zamperini. I love stories in which, by sheer will, others beat the odds, but I generally don’t find much application in my life. You need courage in this life. Much. But how do you teach it? How do you develop it? How do you make it part of you?
Many motivational books and speeches share inspirational stories. The speaker may discuss the many obstacles she overcame to become a CEO, or an Olympian or a performing artist. The author may describe herself as an ordinary person who did extraordinary things. She overcame poverty, illness, lack of roles models, abusive parents, addiction, bankruptcy, divorce—you name it—and despite it all, they did it. They really did it. They’re great, beautiful, wonderful stories. But I always struggle finding the application to my life. What do I learn from a gold medal Olympian about being a better lawyer, husband or father? Work harder? Believe in myself? Ignore the naysayers? Do I need an internal dialogue based on someone else’s accomplishments? Roles models are important. Many of us had them growing up and some of us still have some. We have mentors and those we look toward for advice. But how many of us chart our course based on what they did? I love movies like Rudy, The Rookie, Hoosiers, Rocky, The Blind Side, Friday Night Lights (wow, so many inspirational sports movies), and they leave you pumped to tackle the world. But for me, those moments quickly dissipated and reality set back in and ideas such as teamwork, and leaving it all on the field and fighting for every inch, as noble as they are, did not provide me continued momentum to tackle whatever needed tackling.
Francisco (“Frank”) Ramos, Jr. is the administrative partner of the Miami boutique litigation firm of Clarke Silverglate, P.A., where he practices in the areas of personal injury defense, product liability, employment and business litigation. He is a board member of the Defense Research Institute (DRI), is a member of the Federation of Defense and Corporate Legal Advisers (FDCC), where he served as co-chair of the Deposition Boot Camp and co-chair of the Art. Marketing Seminar . He is past president of the Florida Defense Lawyers Association and past president of the Historical Society of the Eleventh Judicial Circuit. He has served on the boards of the Miami-Dade County Defense Lawyers Association, FIU Alumni Association of Honor, FIU Alumni Association, Miami Parent-to-Parent Association, Services Miami Lawyers and Florida Christian School. This is the fifth book of him. He previously wrote From Law School to Litigator, The Associates’ Handbook, Attorney Marketing 101, and Training Your Law Firm Associates. She has written over 150 articles and edited four books: The Defense Speaks, The Trial Tactics Defense Manual, The Deposition Manual, and Leadership for Lawyers.
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